Take Me the Way I Am
by HugATru
Summary: Severus Snape loves Lily Evans even if she claims they are "only best friends". But what happened to this dynamic duo? Did James Potter steal the spotlight or did Severus drive her away himself?
1. Chapter 1

I wanted to type something up that my friend Hannah and I thought should be written about. Sure other people have written about this but I had to. I do NOT own anything Harry Potter just J.K Rowling Does. I just write the fanfiction )

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"Talk to me,Lily." Severus pleaded sweetly to his best friend. Her long flame colored locks fell past her soulders as she let her hair down from the green ribbon that matched her eyes.

"Severus,I've told you. I hate those friends of yours. They creep me out and it breaks my heart to see someone as sweet as you with them. I know you're better than that." She said meeting his coal colored eyes with her emerald ones.  
"You're my best friend and I don't want to loose you."

Severus opened his mouth but closed it not having the guts to ruin the moment of her talking to him with that love and concern in her heart. Oh, how it made him melt when she showed how much she cared about him. It didn't matter that Lily claimed they were only friends; what mattered was that he was the closest person to her, and that was better than anything that prat James could achieve.

"I know,Lily." he mumbled seeing her eyes loose connection with his to gaze across the lake. "But they understand me" Severus attempted weakly. Lily gave him a cold glare out of the courner of her eye and make a noise in her throat of dissaproval. "I thought I understood you. Doesn't that count?" she said siffly. She would not give up on this one.  
"You do! You understand me better than anyone!" he agreed quickly picking at the grass nerviously. "But they get me in different ways. Like, ways I grew up with. It's hard to explain."

Lily didn't turn her head away from the glassy surface of the lake but he could see her thinking widly at that last comment. She chose to not say anything, which could mean he either won or was in trouble for that later. But before he could suck up a bray of laughter caught his attention. A cold stone dropped to the pit of his stomach as he saw the big-headed Potter boy with his crew walking their way. Lily took a quick glance their way to see what the laughter was about, but as soon as she caught James's eye he gave a pompus grin and nudged his smug friend,Sirius.

Sirius smirked and locked eyes on the pair and James ran his fingers through his hair to make it look like he just got off a broomstick. Ugh, how disgusting.  
"Hello,Evans!" James called out casualy strutting his way up to them. "Fine day,isn't it?" he commented. Remus sighed and looked at Sirius,who was now looking a pair of seventh year Hufflepuff girls up and down with interest.

"Go away,Potter." Lily said in a hollow tone turning her head to Severus but keeping her eyes just out of her friend's gaze.  
"Aw,don't be that way,Evans! Today is a lovely day, you should enjoy it with a nice walk around the lake or a date to Hogsmead with me this afternoon." James said pulling back his shoulders to make his posture more manly. "We'll visit the Shrieking Shack and talk over a butterbeer,what do you say?"

Lily had to hold back a snort of laughter when he said this. She turned her face to meet his and stood up still keeping eye contact. "Talk? About what,  
Potter? How about we talk about how you need to leave me the hell alone and learn to stop picking on students? That would be a good topic to have a nice chat about. We can also discuss how you're a dirty prat and how badly you need to grow up!" Her eye flickered while she said these words with such an acidic flare that James took a step back.

"Evans,that hurt!" James whimpered holding his hand over his heart dramatily.

"Those words may sting, but how I will degrade your manhood will be another story, Quidditch boy."

James blinked. The silence around them was broken when Sirius choked on a loud laugh that he held back.

"Alright,Evans. I'll leave you be." James caid calmly. He turned his attention to the greasy haired boy beside Lily hiding shyly in the shadows. "You,my little greasy haired friend, will keep on eye on her. But your hands off. She doesn't need anything to mess up whats already perfect." And on that note, he turned on his heel and walked off with his friends close behind trying to still hold back laughter from the low blows given to him by a girl.

"Stupid git!" hissed Lily kicking the dirt. "I loathe the way he walks, the way he talks, I dispise the way he thinks he's just EVERYTHING! He's not"  
Tears welled up in her eyes as a dust cloud faded around her use-to-be clean mary-janes.

"Don't let him get to you,Lily." Severus said reaching his hand out to her,but not really expecting her to take it. She never gave him much physical contact in affectionate way he desired. But a random hug every now and then made the wait possable.

She looked at his hand and hesitated. She touched the tip of his fingers and jerked them away slightly. She looked at his hand another spilt second and sat down beside him. "I'm sorry about what he said. He's just jealous that I spend my time with you." she muttered scooting a bit closer to him. "I hope you don't mind,but I need to rest for a minute." And to his surprise, she placed her heart shaped face on his shoulder. The weight of her on him made his heart twing in delight as she sighed in content. The mere thought of her being comfortable like this around him made him feel ten times more masculine than ever, plus twenty times more soft than humanly possable. The way she made him tingle all over was something that no mortal girl could ever manage. But Lily Evans could do it without trying.

He loved the way she walked, the way she talked, he even admired the way she didn't dare think she was better than anyone else.

He was in love with Lily Evans and there was nothing in the world of magic nor muggle that could change the way he felt. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Yet again, J.K Rowling owns all.**

**.:~*~:.**

Lily Evans walked slowly around Hogsmead with the other Gryffindor girls of her year.

"Do you really think the Shrieking Shack is haunted?" asked Drea, a girl with long wavy hair that the color would differ anywhere between pink and purple (today was Fuchsia) and bright silver blue eyes. "I never heard the howls and screams everyone claims to have heard. Do you think they're out of their mickey? Or is it just me?"

The three girls chuckled.

"Just you, probably." said Mary. Mary was the tallest of the group with a long slender body and golden hair that fell elegantly just to her shoulder blades. Her dark brown eyes were very kind, but that didn't stop her from being very open and sometimes rude with her to-the-point and honest comments.

Lily sighed as her friends linked arms cheerfully and walked down the cobblestone road to Zonko's. Drea always liked getting little things to send back to her little sister. But a voice caught Lily's attention before she could walk in after the pair.

"Hey, Lily! Spare a moment?" It was Severus calling from across the street. Her two friends didn't notice that she didn't follow them in, so Lily took the liberty to hurry to her other best friend looking more nervous than usual.

"Is something wrong?" Lily asked quickly searching his face.

"No, no. I'm alright. I just, well...I just.." he held out his hand and looked down flushing a bit.

Lily was curious, so she took the thing he was holding in his. Rising an eyebrow she looked at what it was.

It was a bracelet with tiny lily flowers carved in each bead.

"It reminded me of you," explained Severus, "you know, it was pretty with lilies and you're pretty and you are a Lily." he looked up and smiled at her hoping that she might take it more of a giggle than him being flirty.

"Oh, Severus!" she said slipping it on. "It's beautiful! But why? You didn't need to"

Severus simply shrugged and gave her a sheepish grin. "Why not? I felt bad about eariler, you know? About my friends and how you don't like me hanging out with them."

Lily looked at him up and down then settling at his eyes.

"Thank you, Severus. But you really didn't have to. But thank you all the same." She hugged him resting her forehead to the base of his neck and shoulder (he was a lot taller than her, mind you) and squeezed his middle. But all too soon, she let go and looked back down at the beaded jewelry around her wrist. He could tell she really liked it.

**.:~*~:.**

"So, Sev," Lily started sipping at her butterbeer, "Why DO you prefer Avery and Mulciber's company over mine at times?" Her voice sounded very nonchalant but Severus could hear the pleading tone behind it.

"We understand each other, I guess you could say. Our families have things in common so it's like talking to real wizards-" Severus caught himself at the end of that one. He knew he was in for it now.

"Real...wizards-?" Lily asked holding back what could be a scream of fury or a sob of despair. "What makes them so real? Because they grew up with wizarding parents? Am I not a real witch?" She said this all so fast that Severus could not save himself. He could see a single tear form in her eye…the very one he focused both of his on. He can't stand to see her cry, especially over something he said.

"Please, Lily, I didn't mean that at all! I only meant that they-well, you know. How do I say this? They just know things that others don't. Just because you lived with muggles doesn't make you a bad person-" but he was cut off by her glare.

"But it makes everyone else that is muggle born below your lot."

"This would make much more since if you were a Slytherin." said aloud to himself.

"Oh, it would, wouldn't it?" Lily's voice trembled as she spoke each word carefully.

He looked at her and took a deep breath. "Lily, you are my best friend. Why should it matter that I have them as my mates? You're my best one. The one I tell everything to. Isn't that enough?"

"Being your best friend isn't the problem, Sev. It's the fact that you are always around those future Death Eaters. They harm innocent people for laughs, and that's just plain evil. I know you're not like that, so it bother's me to see you with them. You're sweet, Sev. Maybe a bit rough around the edges, but you're a sweetheart. And they are cruel people that their only goal in life is to kiss the hem of You-Know-Who's robes at every waking moment." The tear in her eye had gone, but he could see his reflection in her eyes. To see himself, pale and greasy haired 'Snivellus', made him want to hit himself. She didn't have love in her eyes when she looked at him now, she had hurt. Anything below content for her tore him apart.

"Lily, I understand. And I want to make this up to you. I want to show you exactly how much you mean to me."

**.:~*~:.**

**Hope you enjoyed it!**


	3. Chapter 3

Everything is owned by J.K Rowling. Everything.

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Severus held to Lily's wrist gently as he waved his hand infront of her masked face to make sure she couldn't see anything. He had a surprise for her-one that would take her breath away.

"Ok,Lily,be quiet. I don't want Potter and his crowd to follow us," Severus said leading her down a hallway still holding to her tiny wrist.

"I'll be good,Sev." She agreed following submissivly by her friend.

Severus lead her quickly but quietly up a flight of stairs and down a few corridors till he stopped at the right place.

"Wait here." He whispered letting go of her wrist and taking a few steps back. She stood there perfectly still waiting for him to return. He paced back and forth three times thinking hard,'I want a beautiful room to make Lily happy. I want her to see me in different eyes. Please give me a room to make her see how much she means to me'  
When he opened his eyes, an elegant door had appeared out of thin air. Gently pushing Lily in the direction of the door by the small of the back, he grasped the handle and herded her inside.

"Look now..." Severus said taking the blindfold off.

Before her was a huge space what seemed like he had taken her outside. But,no,there was no breeze. But there was a lake and beautiful willow trees. The grass was filled with wildflowers of every color. Even the lake had lily flowers! The moon was full above them-or was it even a real moon? The stars twinkled romantily winking at the pair as Severus looked at her with a nervious grin.

"You like it?" he muttered.

"Oh,Sev! It's so beautiful! Where are we? We can't be outside the castle,can we? Oh,it doesn't matter! This is so wonderful! But how did you ever manage this magic? This is all too perfect to be real, what enchantment is this"  
Lily's eyes refected the twinkling stars five times more brightly than the enchanted sky itself.

"It's an enchantment,yes. But don't worry about that,Lily. Just enjoy it and sit by me by the lake." He held out his pale hand for her to take,and she did. The walked to the edge of the water and sat by the largest willow tree Lily had ever seen. The branches wrapped around them, even reaching over part of the lake itself, keeping the two in a bubble of their own-away from any world to share with others. Just one to share themselves.

"Lily, I did this for you.I made the lake to show our bond over a place we share most. I thought you would enjoy that. I even put every color wildflower in here beause each color I know is your favorite in its own way. Even though I know lily flowers are your favorite. So I made those,too.I even made the moon to reflect how much you light up my dark nights and the stars for each reason you mean the world to me. But,I ran out of space for more stars." Severus flushed hearing his voice escape his lips at such ease. It fightened him to hear what she might say.

Lily turned pink around her cheeks and turned her head down looking at the lilies in the water. He did all of this for her. He made this himself with the only help of his wand and his heart. How that boy wanted would go out of his way for her made Lily's stomach flip-but not the flip she felt around anyone else. It was a jolt of pure warmth and tenderness. Severus Snape did this for her,Lily Evans. Just for the sake to see her smile.

And he did a damn good job.

"Sev,thank you. This really means a lot to me." Lily said looking up at him. In this moonslight, he looked different. A good different. His skin took on an elegant glow and his eyes filled with the warm grace that made her stomach do another flip. A little voice in the back of her head agreed that Severus Snape,yes, you heard right Lily, Severus Snape looks dashing and very handsome in this magic glow of the moonlight. He scooted an inch or so closer to her and looked into her eyes. When their eyes met, the moon and stars paused a heartbeat with their twinkling and glowing. Chemistry was brewing more quickly than any potion than the two of them had ever made. But then again, it didn't matter. What mattered is that they were together.

"Lily, this," Severus said gesturing to the area around them,"is hardly a fraction of what I feel for you. No magic in the world could show you that. I've fancied you the day I saw you. No one in this world could be anything like you. You are amazing and wonderful. You're so smart and elegant,Lily, you have no idea how lucky I feel to be just you best friend. To know you trust me and love in the way that you do is enough. I don't want to ask anything else of you ever. Just having you here right now is what I've always wanted."

Lily's heart jumped at what he said. 'Best friend'...of course he was her best friend! But for some reason, it coming from his lips right then sounded weird. The voice in the back of her head questioned this. 'Are you two really just best friends?' That thought ran around her head and it all began to click. Severus Snape was not just her best friend. He was much,much more. He was who she was ment for.

"I love you." she whisperd.

"Sorry?" Severus asked, slightly alarmed.

"I love you,Sev. You may be my best friend but something about tonight...now...makes me think differently. Nothing more could possably make more since than me and you." Lily slipped her fingers over his hand without breaking eye contact.

Severus's heart pounded. This was it. This was the more than he had dreamed of but always just shoved in the back of his mind telling himself it was never going to happen. Well, it was. She inched her face closer to his, the moment was getting closer. He hesitated in moving his face closer to hers, he was screaming in his head to wake up!  
He needed to wake up before something happened! Please! This can't happen! I love her too much, what if this was a dream? I can't wake up! But I need to, but I can't! Everything that was ment to happen is happening right now!  
He leaned his face down to meet hers-and it happened.

Their lips touched and the area surrounding them changed from night to day rapidly with the intense emotion engulfing the magic. Her lips were smooth against his and his heart throbbed in extascy. His skin tingled all over making him completely numb except his lips. He could smell her skin and hair, feel her heart beat within her chest. This was the moment to make them whole. And they were. Lily Evans and Severus Snape no longer existed.  
This magic was more powerful than anything Dumbledore,Merlin,and Voldemort could ever cast.

This was true love.

What felt like eternity ten times over of pure heaven,but what was really only thirty seconds, the kiss broke. Severus opened his eyes stupidly and saw Lily sitting before him with her eyes still closed. 'Thank God!  
It wasn't a dream...' he thought.

"I love you,Severus." Lily muttered.

"I love you,too,Lily."

And with that,he wrapped his arms around her to relive ten more eternities.

xXoxXoxXoxXoxXoxXoxXoxXoxXoxXo

Severus and Lily snuck up to their dorms without running into anyone late that night. No one knew what happened just then except for them.

At least, they thought no one knew-or at least figured out what happened.

BREAKBREAKBREAK

Sorry for even MORE misspellings! Still have to use Notepad. I hope you enjoy this chapter! I know I did writing it! 


	4. Chapter 4

J.K Rowling owns all.

BREAKBREAKBREAK

Severus silently whispered the password to the slimy cold dungeon wall,(Flobberworm) and stepped inside. The fire was still brightly lit and an armchair was placed infront of the warm flames.

"So," said a smooth,chilling voice, "where have you been,Snape?"

Severus's body went cold and tingles went down his spine with fear.It was Bellatrix. She had turned around in her armchair to face him. Her heavy lidded eyes alit with mischief and a smirk at the end of her lips that only ment trouble. The light playing arcoss her face made her look even more devious.

"Snape,you didn't answer me. Where have you been?" she kept her voice cool and collected, almost mocking him.

"I was...out. Why so curious?" Severus keeping his eyes away from hers.

"I can see that." she paused a moment and slid gracefully out of the chair striding towards him. "What reason,  
pray tell, do you have for going out? Last minute studying? The O.W.L's are not too far off,  
tomorrow in fact. But you're too smart for that, arn't you,Snape? Don't lie to me. I'll know if you are lying." She kept her glaring eyes locked on his avoiding ones. She was placing him in a trap...

"I had to meet up with someone. Personal things, nothing to worry about." He said quickly hoping she would leave him be so he could get up to his dorm and dream about his night.

"I see." she said placing her hands on her hips. "Was this person a girl?"

"What does it matter to you, Black?" Severus said stiffly. He didn't like the way the conversation was going, and he could tell it wasn't going to get any better.

"I can promise you already my dear,Snape, that this girl you went to go see isn't special. She's not here with you now so she is obviously not a Slytherin. It's that mudblood isn't it?" Her eyes bared into his as he looked away from her. She didn't give him a time to reply. "How could you turn your back on us? She's the scum of the school!  
Look at the way she struts thinking she's a real witch. She parades around like she belongs here! I bet she has you under some spell,too. That dirty cow. Look at you! You're smitten with her!" She exagerated her words with her hands, making Severus take a step back from her violent animated motions. "How dare you,Snape. How DARE you!  
We,as Slytherins, work hard to perfect our world from people like her! How is it going to look when you start walking hand in hand with her down the hallways? No one is going to take you seriously. She doesn't love you.  
She's using you. You are letting a mudblood walk all over you like a pathetic lap dog."

"Don't you DARE call her that!" Severus hissed looking up at Bellatrix with loathing in his eyes. "Never call her that disgraceful name again!" He raised his hand to strike her, but quickly put it down to his sides and kicked the wall in frustration.

"You call them that,Snape. You laugh with the rest of us. You jinx them in the hallways, you tease them in class.  
What makes this girl any different? She pitties YOU,Snape. She saw you as weak and wants to controll you. And you let her, just for the hopes of a glance or a smile. She doesn't care for you. She just enjoys dragging you around by your heartstrings. And you know it. That mudblood may be filth, but she's not dumb. She knows how to make you do her bidding. And she wants you away from us. She wants you to break up the most powerful students in the school.  
Admitt it, she's tried to get you away from the group-the future Death Eaters. We will hold power and WE will be in control." Bellatrix's arms were crossed now staring him down. She could see the gears working inside his head, but wouldn't let her smile show.

He turned his back on her resting himself against the wall.

Silence.

"You need to see this,Snape. I'm doing this for you." she placed her hand on his shoulder gently and squeezed.  
He turned his head slightly to look at her as she spoke. "There are other girls,Snape. Right under your nose." And with that she placed a light,tender kiss on his cheek. "Goodnight,Severus. Good luck,tomorrow." And she was left him to proceed to her bedchambers.

Severus was stunned. His feelings were mixed now. He loved Lily Evans with all of his heart, but . Lily wasn't different from the other muggle-bornes, she was just a pretty face. A pretty face that wanted to spilt up the power that he was raised to succeed in. Bellatrix was starting to make since.

And it was breaking his heart. 


	5. Chapter 5

**J.K Rowling owns it all. Do I really need to keep saying this? Oh yes, guess I do. sigh**

**Sorry for the absence. I've been plotting what I should put for this chapter and now I think I've got it. Enjoy!**

**Reviews would be amazing! D **

**.:.**

Severus awoke the next morning the same time as he always does, thanks to his internal clock. He sat up and silently slipped from his bed to get dressed before his fellow Slytherins awoke. He didn't mind them, but getting dressed in peace is nice.

Just as he was slipping on his shoes he heard a few rustles coming from the beds nearest him. He marched his way to the common room with is head hung low. He didn't want to make eye contact with anyone with so much on his mind.

_Would Lily really use me? I don't think so, but anything is possible. We've just been friend's for so long! _His thoughts kept streaming into his mind as he made his way to the Great Hall for breakfast. He sat at the end of the table farthest from his house mates in hopes of eating in peace. Few students were up this early, but Severus enjoyed the time to himself. He always did. But he wouldn't mind if Lily came down. Lily Evans was always an exception in his mind.

A few Ravenclaw students came into the Great Hall with their arms occupied with text books. They were chattering away about their notes preparing for the O.W.L.s when Severus just realized that he needed to study for his. He whipped out his History of Magic notes to scan them while he still could in the little peace that was left in the room. He knew the material by heart, but he would prefer to double check just in case. What would Lily say if she knew he didn't do any last minute studying? She would be angry with him at least. She always wanted him to do his best. Severus's heart gave a twang when he thought about Lily like that. To think that she was keeping his best interest in her heart made him feel good, but still confused if she really meant it all.

As he was scanning the notes about a bloody Goblin war, a crowd of Gryffindor students spilled into their proper table all rambling on about their first exam. He spotted James and his group of friends sitting next to the rest of the Quidditch team members. James didn't have a look of worry on his face like most of his classmates. What a prat he was for thinking he was above it all! He never studied by the looks of things, amazing he makes decent marks. Severus was still scowling as his enemies as Lily and her friends walked by. Lily had her nose in her History of Magic book as her friends talked animated beside her. She didn't say much as she sat down, still reading. She did look stunning while she read. Hell, no matter what she did she looked stunning!

The hall filled quickly at that point making Severus feel uncomfortable in the large crowds of people around him. He got up taking his notes with him and walked to the library for some silence until the first bell rang. Lily must have spotted him because he heard his name being called before he turned into the corridor that lead to his destination.

"Sev! Wait up!" Lily jogged lightly to his side, bag filled with her books and rolls of parchment in the crook of her arm. "I wanted to join you."

Severus blushed under his sallow skin and nodded. "I would like that." They both walked side by side to the empty library and took a seat at a nearby table.

"Hey, Sev, about last night," Lily said in a whisper. Severus looked up at her and saw her cheeks were flushing and her eyes were looking down at the table. "Last night was wonderful. I never felt that way about anyone before."

His heart was pounding. Maybe Black was wrong after all? He waited for Lily to speak again.

"But, I don't want something to start between us knowing that you still curse people with the same blood status as me. I want you to take me the way I am. And accept everyone else, too. That includes name calling and jinx casting. I want no more of that." She was staring him down now. It was obvious to him that it was either agree to her standards or loose everything. And by losing everything, he could loose Lily to James Potter. Bile rose in his throat at the image of Lily batting her eyes up at the pompous git while he swung his broomstick over his shoulder. He didn't want that to happen.

He nodded stiffly with the image still in mind.

"Also, I don't want anything official, anyway. It's very sudden. I want to make sure you keep to your word, Severus." Lily's voice was stern as she said this. She meant business with him and it was either pass of fail. And for her, Severus was determined to be deemed worthy in the eyes of Lily Evans.

"Bell is about to ring, I'll see you in class." she got up and collected her things with one last look at her best friend. "Good luck," and she was gone. Severus was collecting his things to follow her when he saw something out of the corner of his eye.

"I told you, Snape." It was Bellatrix.

"Leave me be, Black." Severus said lifting his bag onto his shoulder.

"You didn't read the fine print of her contract, did Snape? She wants you to stop everything you're doing. And you agreed. How pathetic. How in the name of the Dark Lord can you possibly stop putting those foul creatures in their place? You enjoy it as much as the rest of us." She was close now. Right behind him, he could even feel her stare on him and smell her presence around him. It was an intoxicating scent that clouded his nostrils. He coughed lightly and turned to face her.

"Leave me alone, Black. I have an exam."

"I'm sure you do, and she will be in there. How much do you want to bet she won't sit by you? She'll be with her other friends. Won't even look at you when you come in." Her words cut deep in him. Severus didn't want to hear anymore of this. He stormed off angrily with a scowl on his face just as the bell rang to send them off to their first class.

_You're wrong, Bellatrix Black._

**.:.**

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Reviews will be highly appreciated, I'm not getting much on this story. And I would just like to hear some people enjoy some good ol' Severus/Lily fanfics like I do. Encouragement helps speed along the updates ;) **

**Thank you everyone who has reviewed and added this story! **


	6. Chapter 6

**J.K Rowling owns it all. Period.**

**And yes I used Order of the Phoenix as a detailed reference…fyi. Rowling still owns all.**

**.:.**

Severus was a few paces away from his designated class room when the bell rang as a signal to get to class. As he stepped in a few other students flooded their way to their seats. He kept his gaze at the floor using his greasy hair as a curtain between him and the others. He sat in his assigned seat and took a peek from his peep hole of a window and saw Lily sitting with her Gryffindor friends Mary and Drea. They were whispering excitedly about whatever girls chat about with such enthusiasm. Severus shook Bellatrix's words from his head and focused on one last minute of studying.

He could feel some eyes staring at him as the last bell finally rung. Professor Binns strolled in aimlessly passing out tests and moaning on about putting up all notes and papers while taking our your ink and best quills.

Severus ignored the stares and focused on the parchment in front of his face. The first question read:

_Describe in detail about the Goblin war of 1422 and why was it so important for the boycott of Unicorn hair._

It was going to be a long day…

**.:.**

Finally the exam was over as Severus rolled up his parchment and turned it in. The end of class bell has finally chimed to everyone's relief.

Severus picked up his bag slowly hoping to not rush out with the huge group of students who were rushing off to do their next exam. His was Ancient Runes. He kept an eye on Lily as she talked to her friends (going off to their exam, Divination) and it didn't look like she was talking about anything more exciting than she was this morning. Hmm, might be talking about the exam. She tends to talk about tests after she takes them. Severus took a deep breath to calm himself from worrying over what might not be said. After all, this was all just silly girl drama that Bellatrix was cooking up herself. Nothing to fret over. Nothing at all.

He took his seat in the back of the class like always and opened his book to check up on a translation that had always had trouble with. The rest of the class filed in lazily groaning over the loaming exam of doom that lay ahead. But Severus didn't mind, he always made good marks on this exam.. Just like Lily, she was smart and always made excellent marks. He smiled as he put up his books and took the exam from the teacher's hand…Lily always made him smile.

**.:.**

His exams were finally over now. Ah, the fresh air! Not that he really liked being outside much, but it was better than the hot stuffy castle all day. Severus followed the rest of the students outdoors with his head in his O.W.L. papers, inches away from the page. He liked to hide himself while in huge crowds, it was less likely for Potter's group to see him.

He made it outside safely to the grounds on the far side of the lake still reading his papers. He could hear Potter's group, but didn't really notice their presence as he was a good many yards from them. He settled in the shade still enjoying his studies, nice and far from his classmates. He absentmindedly wondered where his friends were and what they were up to. And where was Lily? Probably still with her friends. He took a few good more scans over the material double checking his own answers from memory. Severus was growing bored sitting alone now, he really wanted to talk to Lily. Maybe he could talk to her about what Bellatrix said? Yeah, Lily would know what to do. She was smart about those things. He then stood up stuffing his papers in his bag then taking a few paces out of the bushes where he sat. He began to stroll across the grass to go seek out Lily, he had a good feeling she was by the lake. But he had to walk fast to avoid trouble with Potter's group.

"All right, Snivellus?" It was James's voice.

That was it! He stopped and pulled out his wand as quick as he could, but not quick enough-

"_Expelliarmus!"_ James had shouted, making Severus's wand fly high in the air and fall a few feet behind him. _Damn! _Sirius was already laughing at the antics, that would attract more attention. Severus, seeking the spilt second opportunity to dive for his wand- "I_mpedimenta!" _Sirius had already taken out his wand and cast his spell sending Severus off his feet and even further from his fallen wand. It even knocked the breath out of him. He could hear more laughter coming from other students that were looking to see what was going on. He prayed that Lily wasn't one of them!

James and Sirius were getting closer to him now, wands at the ready. Severus tried to wiggle free from the invisible robes that bound to him from the previous jinx, but to no avail.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" James said.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment. There'll be great grease marks all over, they won't be able to read a word." Sirius said with venom.

"You-wait," Severus panted. He was still trying to get free from the jinx, but what was getting the best of him was his anger. "You-wait…"

"What for what?" Sirius said. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe you nose on us?"

That was it. Severus was not growling and screaming swear words, hexes, and jinxes like a mad man. How DARE they? How DARE they use him for a punching bag? Just because other people thought they were funny doesn't mean they really WERE. They were DISGUSTING FILTHY CREAT-

"Wash out your mouth." James said, his voice cool. "_Scourgify!"_

Pink soap bubbles now poured from his lips, gagging him. Making him choke…

"Leave him ALONE!"

The voice made James and Sirius turn around to see Lily Evans. James automatically ran his fingers through his hair.

"All right, Evans?" James changed his voice to make him sound cool. How even more disgusting…

"Leave him alone. What's he done to you?" Lily's eyes burnt into James's as she stood in a pose of standing her ground: hands on her hips and head high.

"Well, it's more the fact that he _exists,_ if you know what I mean…" James said hoping to prove a point.

More people laughed at James's remark but Lily didn't.

"You think you're funny, but you're an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone_." Her tone was cold and final.

"I will if you go out with me, Evans." James said quickly. _Great. Just great…_ thought Severus. But as the two bickered at each other, he noticed he could move his arm a bit. Maybe he can even reach for his wand now…?

"Go on…Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again." James continued.

Severus was now inching his way towards his wand, spitting up those ridiculous pink soap suds as he went.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid!" Lily growled. She obviously felt that way, too.

"Bad luck, Prongs," Severus heard Sirius say before- "OY!"

Good timing. Severus had already grabbed a hold of his wand and with a rush of loathing a fury, sent a jet of light towards James. The light sliced his cheek sending blood to splatter all over the Quidditch player's perfectly clean robes. _Ha! _James whirled about in a flash to send another jet of light to Severus hanging him upside down as if his foot was caught on a hook.

Severus's robes fell over his head. His unmentionables and naked legs were exposed. _Oh God, why?! _

His ears rang with the laughter of all his peers. This just wasn't fair…

"Let him down!" he heard Lily shout again.

"Certainly." James had said. Next second, Severus was on the ground aching all over. Damn, this was one hell of a bad day. He quickly got to his feet tying not to trip over his robes when, "_Locomotor mortis"! _rang out forcing Severus to become stiff as a board and falling over once again.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily had then shouted taking out her wand pointing it at James and Sirius. The two of them eyed it with a raised eyebrow.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," James earnestly said, and honestly meaning it.

"Take the curse off him, then!" Lily replied

James sighed and turned around. He gave Severus a glare and preformed the counter curse. "There you go." James muttered as Severus got to his feet again. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"

Anger was getting the best of Severus now. Not only was he humiliated in front of the entire school (again), Lily had seen it and was the only one forced to stop it. _She _had to come to _his_ rescue.

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" he hissed.

He said it…Oh dear God, why?! Why in the name all that was holy did he HAVE to let that slip?! He looked at her for the nano second he could before she responded. Her eyes were cold but he could see the hurt in them. The pain.

"Fine. I won't bother you in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus._"

"Apologize to Evans!" James roared pointing his wand threatening towards Severus. But he really didn't hear him. His eyes were stuck on Lily…

How could he be so foolish…?

"I don't want _you_ to make him apologize," she shouted, "You're as bad as he is…"

"What?" James yelped in shock. "I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it's cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK." and she was gone. Storming off across the ground with her arms stiff by her side. Her friends Mary and Drea quickly joined her side to offer comfort but she just kept walking. Not looking back at the boy that broke her heart.

"Evans! Hey, Evans!" James called after her. But she didn't turn to his call.

"What is with her?" James asked in a failed attempted at being nonchalant about her attitude towards him.

"Reading between the lines," Sirius said, "I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate."

"Right…right-" James said. He turned and shot another hex Severus's way as he stood in shock at his own damage. He was hanging in the air yet again with his dirty underpants for everyone to view.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?" James shouted at the crowd as if performing a street corner act for entertainment.

Severus just hung limply with depression weighing on his heart far more heavier than shame. He didn't care what they did now. Everything was useless.

But they never did. After the crowed snorted its disapproval at the thought of seeing Severus Snape's privates, James let him fall to the ground. The rest of his group laughed as they gathered their things and walked inside to continue about their day without another thought of what had happened that afternoon.

All except Severus. Who lay in the grass crying to himself softly, wishing that he could exchange everything else in the world to go back in time and change what he did.

**.:.**

**Thank you for sticking to this story so far! The next and (maybe?) final chapter will be up soon enough. Don't forget to leave reviews ( reviews love), and don't forget to vote on my poll located on my bio!! **

**Thank you so much!**


	7. Chapter 7

**J.K Rowling owns it all, of course. **

**.:~*~:.**

Lily was rushing back to the common rooms in hopes that her tears would not spill over where people could see them. Already she was doing a poor job, her vision was getting blurry and she couldn't breathe.

"Evans?" she heard someone calling after her, but she wouldn't stop. Not now. She stumbled up a staircase grabbing the railing as her only support.

"Hey, Evans!" the voice called again.

"G-go away!" she manage to call back as she stumbled even more to the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Oh, my dear! Are you all right?" the Fat Lady asked looking at the obviously distraught girl.

"Cauldron Cakes!" she shouted at her. "Please, just let me in!" her tears were threatening to spill over even more than before, and she could hear whoever it was getting closer. The portrait swung open as the voice called again.

"Evans!" they were out of breath. But she didn't stop, she crawled in the portrait hole-but a gentle hand landed on her shoulder.

"Hey, why in such a hurry?" the voice was calm now, instead of shouting. She turned to face to meet theirs-James Potter.

"What do you want, Potter?" she spat. But at her remark she could see some hurt in his eyes.

"Why did you run off like that? Exams are over, no more studying. Plus you ran off before eating. I know you must be hungry after all the hard work of exams today." a grin spread out on his face. She could see faint evidence of him really trying to be friendly.

"Please, Potter. No…just, no. I'll be fine." Lily muttered trying to shake off his hand from her shoulder.

"Look, I'm sorry for this afternoon. I wanted to apologize. That's what I wanted to tell you before but you ran off. " he let his hand slip off her small shoulders and hang by his sides. "I really am sorry for what I did." She looked him up and down, glaring at him.

"Why are you so sorry? You enjoy doing those things to-" she caught herself before she uttered his name, "…people." she finished. "It's cruel, but why apologize now?" James's smile fell a bit at her question.

"Well, I know it hurt you. That…_he_ hurt you. And if he wouldn't apologize then I would."

James mentioning Severus in passing made the tears return. Noticing Lily's glassy eyes took it as an alarm.

"Lily? What's wrong?" he asked putting his hand back on her shoulder. "Talk to me…" he tried to catch her gaze with his. "Please?"

"Why should I? You've done nothing but piss me off since I met you! Why should I talk to you?" Lily hissed whipping away a runaway tear from her cheek.

"Because I do give a damn about you. I may act like a prat to you, but at least I'm trying to make it up." James said keeping his grip firm on her shoulder. "Please, talk to me."

"In or out!" the Fat Lady said angrily. Lily looked back and noticed they left the portrait open. "Oh! I'm sorry." Lily said making to go into the common room, but James held her back.

"Let's talk somewhere more private, ok?" James said sweetly. "I'm here to listen."

Eager to vent and let her emotions run wild, but keen on James's newly found sweetness, Lily gave him another gaze that plainly stated _I-am-not-sure-what-you-are-up-to_.

"All right. Fine. Following you, then." Lily muttered keeping her eyes on James as he gently held her wrist leading the way to an empty classroom.

Once in the room, James closed the door quietly and motioned for Lily to sit in one of the empty chairs. She sat down and eyed him as he sat in front of her.

"Now, talk to me, Lily. Please." James said keeping his gaze intently on hers.

"Ok…" she said with a shaky breath. "Well, for one thing. I don't know how to feel about this."

"About what?"

"This. You being nice. You apologizing."

"I understand. But don't worry about that. What is wrong other than me being nice?"

"Severus." Lily whispered. "He is -_was_- my best friend. He was everything to me. He listened to me, always. When I needed someone to talk to, it was him. He was the one that even told me I was a witch before I got my letter. He was special to me." a tear tried again to run down her cheek, but she wiped it away again. "He was even my first kiss." she blushed at the boldness of her remark. That was something she had only told Mary and Drea. She would have never told James Potter of all people! But she did.

"Yeah?" James said letting her continue. But she could tell by the look on his face that he was both amused and disgusted. Either way, he kept it to himself letting her talk.

"We even agreed that things could possibly grow from that night. But he had to clean up, to change. I couldn't be with someone that was so deep in what he is! It just wasn't right for him…for us. But," she choked on the wave of tears that tried to force their way out, "he called me a…you know. Never would I believe he would ever call me that. Ever." The tears won. They rushed down her face and she tried to catch her breath in sobs.

"I'm so sorry. Please, don't let me bother you, Potter." Lily said trying to stand up, but James held her hand.

"No. Stay. I told you, I'm here." His voice was calm and sweet. It was sincere. "Please, Lily. You are not a burden. You never were."

"How am I not? I'm sobbing and look a fright." Lily argued pathetically.

"Because…well, because I care about you, too." James said weakly still holding onto her hand. "I always have. You're smart and witty. And you never look a fright. You're always so beautiful and elegant." He was blushing as he told her. She could see that he was mustering up all his Gryffindor courage to tell her his feelings.

"Then why are you always such a prat,then?" Lily asked.

"Because…well," he thought for the words, "Damnit! It's because I am one! I dunno how to impress a girl like you! Is it smarts? I get great marks. Is it humor? I'll play a few jokes. Is it being athletic? I'm on the Quidditch team. But none of them work. So I wanted to try being a friend like…_he_ was. Obviously that worked well for him…" his voice was strong, but it grew weak as he prattled on. "I just wanted to impress you."

"And it took you five years?"

"Yeah, kinda…"

"You're such a git."

"Yeah, I know."

They were eye to eye now. Lily could see his hazel eyes behind his glasses. She could even count his eyelashes. But why bother? The lousy thing before her held her in a gentle but assuring grip as they stared into each other's eyes. With out warning, James kissed her. His lips were firm against hers, but they softened up as he made sweet repetitive motions. He didn't even force tongue. Lily was in shock with his affection. She was numb. His arms wrapped around her, placing one hand on the small of her back and other on the nape of her neck. She also instinctively placed her arms around his neck.

"This is wrong…" she whispered, breaking the kiss.

"This is right…" he replied, kissing her with just as much sweetness as before.

**.:~*~:.**

**Yay! Another chapter down! I hope to have the next one this week. Maybe even tomorrow? Reviews are love! Thank you so much! **


	8. Chapter 8

**J.K Rowling still owns all. Of course. **

**Yes, some of this was taken out of Deathly Hallows. I still don't own it. Only Ms Rowling.**

**.:~*~:.**

Lily looked back at James's face with shock.

"No…nonono! This isn't right!" she said taking a good few steps back. "I can't be kissing you right now. Not ever!"

James looked hurt. "Am I that bad at snogging?" he tried to lighten the mood but he could tell his attempt was a poor one.

"No, that's not it at all. I just got my heart broken, James. And that was just…just a rebound snog!" Lily said with new tears in her eyes. Even though James was not bad at snogging at all, she still knew it was wrong.

"Lily, please. I'm sorry I upset you. Look, I'll stop kissing you then, ok? I swear. I'll sit right here." James sat back down and holding up his hands to show that he meant no harm.

"You're missing the point, Potter." Lily hissed. She was growing a bit angry at herself for ending the snogging- it was very nice. But still! She had to stay focused. This was _James Potter._ The arrogant prat that had made her life hell for years. "Thank you for your help, Potter. But I can manage on my own now."

And with that, Lily Evans left James Potter stumped and just as heartbroken as the girl he just tried to comfort.

**.:~*~:.**

Severus sat in an empty classroom in an unused wing of the castle. Tear stains marked his face, but his eyes were dry from the hours of self pity. How _dare_ he be so stupid? He lost his chance at being the happiest man on earth. And. He. Blew it.

Completely.

He was just as big of a git as Potter. No, worse than Potter. Severus shook his head. Did he really just admit that? Ugh. But it was true. Severus Snape had just royally effed up everything.

But, could be make it better? It was worth a shot.

**.:~*~:.**

Snape knew where the Gryffindor common room was for the many times he had walked Lily back to her dorm after late night strolls and free periods.

But, one problem. He didn't know the password.

Damn.

"Password?" asked the fat lady eyeing him suspiciously.

"Waiting one someone." Severus said shortly sitting down against the wall.

The fat lady just shrugged and started reading a book that she might have gotten out of one of the paintings in the library.

So, Severus just sat there and waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Lily must have already ran back up to her common room. Typical.

But he heard footsteps. Could it be Lily? Maybe…

But it wasn't Lily. It was her friends Mary and Drea. He didn't mind them so much, but right now, they were glaring at him.

"What are you doing here?" Mary asked looking at the pale boy up and down with a scowl. Funny how someone so attractive can look so unattractive when they made that face.

"Waiting for Lily." Severus said promptly gesturing to the portrait of the fat lady.

"She doesn't want to talk to you." Drea said simply crossing her arms.

"Then I'll be out here all night, then."

The girls looked at each other and exchanged looks.

"It's getting late, Snape. Go to bed." Mary said trying to reason him out of the corridor.

"No. I'll sleep out here if I must. I need to talk to Lily." his voice was firm. He would not move.

"Fine. Have it your way, then." Drea said going to the portrait and muttering the password. The frame swung open allowing the girls inside.

"Don't follow, Snape." Warned Mary as the portrait swung shut behind her.

"Not that I had much of a choice…" hissed Severus noting the closed portrait.

**.:~*~:.**

"Lily, Snape is outside the portrait hole waiting for you to come out."

The red head groaned and she towel dried her hair. The muggle way was much more soothing to her.

"He threatened to sleep out there." Mary said slipping out of her robes and picking up her night clothes.

"I think he means it," Drea added doing the same.

Bugger.

"You might want to talk to him. Make him leave." said Mary.

Lily sighed. "I guess I have no choice."

**.:~*~:.**

Lily came out in her dressing gown and looked very angry indeed. He better do some fast talking.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath. I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you a Mudblood, it just-"

"Slipped out?" Severus could hear the lack of pity in her voice. Damn, this was going to be really difficult. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends- you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you are all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

Shit. What can he say to that? He didn't want to join You-Know-Who in particular at all. He opened his mouth to retort but nothing came out, so he closed it again.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way and I've chosen mine."

"No- listen, I didn't mean-"

"-to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

_But you are different! _He pleaded inside his head. He tried to vocalize it, really he did, but Lily gave him a scornful look and climbed back into the portrait hole.

All Severus could do then was hang his head in shame.

**.:~*~:.**

**Thank you all for reading! This part tore me up inside to write, even though it was just a bit taken out of the book. (Owned by J.K Rowling)**

**I hope to get the next chapter out VERY soon. I want this story to hurry up along since I now have 3 pieces to write AND that special piece I promised all of my 'I Need You' fans (I have not forgotten!)**

**Reviews are LOVE!!**


	9. Chapter 9

**J.K Rowling owns this. You should know that by now.**

**.:~*~:.**

Severus Snape took the long walk back to the dungeons. He met no one on his walk, thank Merlin. He just hung his head in shame as he took one step after another, down, down…down, into the dorms he called home.

Or hell.

The wall slid open to allow him in, but he did not see an empty common room. Bellatrix Black was in the same chair she was before last time he came into the dorms past curfew.

"So, how does it feel, Snape?" she said turning to face him.

He grunted and tried to walk past.

"No, not so fast my dear friend. Tell me, how did it go?" Her eyes held the fire in the fireplace, dancing its sick dance of glee.

"None of your business, Black. Leave me be." he hissed. She have an airy giggle at his retort and crossed her legs. 

"Severus Snape, I warned you about her. I told you she had no feelings for you. She didn't even accept your apology! My, my, why would that be?" she was enjoying this way too much for Severus's liking.

"Because I'm a fool and deserve no better. Are you happy now, Black? Are you happy now that she has turned her heel and left me? I bet it put's a damned smile on your face to see that I'm miserable because of her!" His breathing increased as his eyes turned glassy. His temper was going to get the best of him this time.

"I am not pleased at all that she has hurt you, Snape. I am very angry to see that the damn Mudblood has had control over you enough for this to matter to you. Why does it matter what she says to you? Our Lord will kill her anyway. You just watch. Her mouth will lead her to trouble. And the way she walks…it's like she belongs here. I pity you. I pity the fact you fell for it all. You should have more sense." She lifted her hand casually to her face so she could inspect her nails as she finished her speech.

He was trembling now. Her words cut him deep in his pride and his heart. His temper could not hold back.

"How DARE you! How _dare_ you speak about her like that! Just because she's like us with a different family gives you no bloody right to talk like filth! Didn't your mother ever give you manners? The way you talk makes it sound like certain people actually are higher up on some damn totem pole! But guess what Black, we're all human. But right now my doubts are on _you_!" He marched up to her in her chair and loomed over that smerking face. "No human being would act the way you do and get sheer pleasure from it! To hell with blood status! To hell with ranks! To hell with _you_, Bellatrix Black!" Severus thus flung his arms back to show the energy behind his statement and turned his back on her to walk the steps to his room.

"Wait!" she called to him. He stopped but did not turn around.

"You don't deny it, do you? Our Lord will kill her."

"No _Lord_ of mine, would." Severus said in a sharp tone, also adding a rude finger gesture in her direction. 

She didn't say another word as he proceeded to his bed chambers.

**.:~*~:.**

**Next chapter is being written RIGHT NOW! But as of now, your job is to click that little button at the bottom of this page and review. They are HIGHLY appreciated and I thank EVERYONE that has reviewed in the past! Thank you so much! **


	10. Chapter 10

**J.K Rowling owns. **

**.:~*~:.**

Days turned to weeks, and the weeks turned to the end of the school year. Severus had tried many times to apologize to Lily, but she would refuse to give him the time of day.

Each attempt crushed him more and more to the point he altogether just stopped doing anything. He ate little, his talking was nonexistent, only his school work remained the same. That is all he had left now.

He would look at Lily from afar any chance he got. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, between classes, during classes…if there was a moment he saw her, he did not let it slip by.

And you know what? No matter when he saw her, she was happy.

Always happy. A big grin was always on her face.

And a rip in his heart never would heal.

One thing he also saw was the James Potter still tried and tried again to impress her. She still scowled at his antics, but Severus could almost see a smile in her eyes.

Damn that Potter. 

He knew he lost her, but he had hoped that he wouldn't loose her to an enemy.

But there it was! That smile! He wasn't on her face, but it was coming through her eyes. You see, when he would talk to her, she would pay attention a millisecond longer, scowl a millisecond less. Severus worried what next term would bring.

**.:~*~:.**

He was home for the holidays now. Locked up in his room as usually. He could hear his father yelling about something on the telly and his mum yelling back. Soon enough he would hear a door slam as his father would retreat to his room to do only Merlin knew what.

"Severus!" he heard a voice call. It was his mother. He stood on his feet and unlocked his door. 

"Yes?" he called back pitifully.

"Clean this up for me, please." she had responded. Her voice sounded tired. He walked to the kitchen where his mother was and saw her at the table with a cup of tea in front of her. "Can you dry the dishes for me? I needed to sit down."

He nodded and proceeded to dry them by hand. He wished his mother would do it by magic, but she usually didn't do anything with her wand after an argument. So, best not to argue, he dried them himself quietly.

"It's been a few days, Severus. Where is that friend of yours? Rose, is it?" she asked after a few moments of silence.

"Lily. And I would think she would be at home, I suppose. We stopped talking." he answered shortly.

"Oh, why? She was a nice and pretty girl. Shame she was muggleborn." Severus frowned while looking at himself in the dish he was drying.

"Being muggleborn means nothing, Mother." 

"No, not really. Just a shame she doesn't come from a nice magical family. There could have been a nice line of people with her wit." 

Severus knew she meant well with her comment, but it still made him angry.

"I would like to see more of her. You are ever so pleasant when she is around. You stop all of that scowling and smart remarks. Almost like you are trying to impress her. I don't blame you, mind, but it's still nice to see you happy." and with that, Eileen got up and walked out into the back garden.

**.:~*~:.**

Lily sat in her room looking out at the street below. She could see the park from her window, it was a lovely view. But the park had always reminded her of Severus. It made her ill to think of him now. She had trusted him! She had even loved him. And what does he do? Turn his back on her. She never wanted to believe that he would say such a thing. But he showed his true colors then. Green and silver, just like the rest of them.

On the other hand, she still had Mary and Drea. And maybe even Potter if he would just shape up! But that would never happen. He was just too arrogant.

If only. He was a very nice looking fellow, he just needed to shape up.

If only…

**.:~*~:.**

Severus crouched in the bushes by Lily's house with a clear view of her in her window. He didn't do this often, but this was now the only time he could be near her. He felt disgusting staring at her this way, but he had the right of mind to leave if she was dressing and whatnot. He wasn't perverted. 

If only I hadn't been a prat to you, Lily…

If only…

**.:~*~:.**

**Alright! 2 chapters in one day! I'm on a roll! I'm thinking next chapter will go straight to their 7****th**** year but I'm not sure. Anyone have any ideas? Leave me some reviews and let me know! Thank you oh so much!!**


	11. Chapter 11

**STILL.J.K ROWLING. OWNS. ALL!**

**.:~*~:.**

Lily lay in her bed that summer night. We was really bored now that her and Severus stopped talking. He had always been there, but now he wasn't. Petunia never helped matters, she would just turn her nose up at her freak sister and go off on dates with some boys. Boys…the thought churned Lily's stomach. She was utterly tired of any form of romance. It was just too much effort with the falling and crushing. Plus the heart breaking part, that part really drained a girl.

_Tap tap_

What was that?

_Tap tap_

Lily looked up at where it was coming from. There was an owl at her window. She looked to her alarm clock and saw that it was past midnight. Who on earth…?

She got up and opened her window to let the brown owl inside. She saw the letter wrapped around the leg of the owl and saw it was for her. Well, of course. Who else would be getting a letter by owl in a muggle home other than the solitary witch in the whole house?

She took the letter and opened it. It was a letter from James.

_Lily,_

_I had a feeling that you might not be having a good summer so I thought I would at least send you an owl just in case you got lonely. How have you been? I hope this didn't get to you too late. I don't know exactly how far off you live so I apologize if this got to you late at night. Hope you are doing well._

_Love,_

_James_

Lily raised an eyebrow at the letter. That was odd. James would never write her a letter, at least, he never had before. This was new. It was true by the end of 5th year he starting lighting up-but not much. Still, Lily thought it would be at least polite to write him back. He did, after all, sit and listen to her when she needed him. Kind of.

_James,_

_My summer has been a bit of a letdown but I'll be fine. I'm sure I'll get all of my summer homework over in the next week or two and I'll just find something to do after that. And yes, sadly, this letter got to me a little past midnight. But that's ok. I was up. Hope all is well with you as well._

_-Lily_

Lily signed her name without love. She didn't want to give him any false hopes. She sent the letter off with the brown owl and crawled into bed. Lily had a distinct feeling that she would be writing a lot this summer. And not just to Mary and Drea. She really needed to get an owl of her own, that just might be a good investment.

**.:~*~:.**

While Severus was walking down the road to the town over to get some groceries, he saw an owl soar over to the Evans' house. Right to Lily's window.

He was pretty sure it was just either Mary or Drea, but the thought that is just might be someone else made his stomach flip. No, it was just one of the girls. It's not another boy.

And it certainly isn't Potter.

**.:~*~:.**

Lily was brushing her hair in the vanity when she saw the owl swoop through her window. She took the letter from the brown bird and opened it.

_Lily,_

_I am really sorry about that. I'll try to send owls to you a little sooner so they won't get to you so late. I am also sorry for the fact that you are having a lousy summer. I would suggest you come down and see me but I know that would be a no. Either way, it's an idea. Hope it is still going well._

_Love,_

_James_

He wanted her to come down and see him? Arrogant prat. But still, she was lonely. Maybe she'll write to Mary or Drea and see if they were busy.

But she still didn't have an owl. Damn.

Next Diagon Alley trip, she was getting an owl. That was final.

**.:~*~:.**

James looked over at Sirius.

"Think she'll join us?" he asked.

"Want an honest answer, mate?" Sirius responded doing the Daily Profit crossword.

James frowned and crosses his arms.

"For once, I do wish you would stop being sarcastic."

"I'm not being sarcastic. I was only asking. But no, she still hates you. Remember?" he stuck his quill between his teeth and furrowed his brow while looked at the blank boxes.

"She won't for long. I'll prove to her I am worth all the trouble I cause her." James said with a smug grin propping his feet on the table and resting his hands on the back of his neck.

"Yeah, sure. And I'm married to WizardPlay's August Witch of 1974." Sirius said dryly scribbling an answer in some of the boxes.

"Then you better go by a ring, by dear friend…"

**.:~*~:.**

**Ah, another chapter down! I hope you liked this one, I thought it was a lovely bit of fluff. But still, nice to the plot. **

**Now, just click that button below and review!!! All of them are appreciated! **


	12. Chapter 12

**J.K Rowling owns all of this. **

**.:~*~:.**

Severus was taking another walk around the block, stopping at the park. Ah, the park. Sad and wonderful memories happened here. He sat in a rickety swing and kicked the dirk with his trainer. He remembered Lily jumping out if that swing, flying high into the air and landing gracefully on the ground.

He always knew she was special. But he, on the other hand, was worthless.

He would do anything to go back in time and fix things.

But was there anything he could do? Probably not.

There was no hope for Severus Snape.

**.:~*~:.**

Lily looked at the letter and frowned as she reread the it. She snorted in disgust and grabbed a bit of parchment.

_James-_

_No. Nice try._

_Lily_

She tied the letter to the owl's leg and let it get on its way. That should be enough for Mr. Potter.

**.:~*~:.**

James saw the owl from Lily and grinned. He took the letter of its leg and scowled.

Sirius chuckled to himself seeing the look on his friend's face.

"What did she say?" he asked nonchalantly.

James looked at him and crumpled the letter.

"She needs more convincing." he replied lightly. "That's all."

"Alright, mate. If you say so."

**.:~*~:.**

Some time later.

**.:~*~:.**

Lily walked down Diagon Alley with her mother and father with the goal of getting all of her school supplies. She was even allowed to get an owl (thank Merlin) with much convincing.

After getting her books and other various supplies, she trotted off quickly to the Owl Emporium. There, she found a nice barn owl with big friendly eyes.

"He's been here a while. No one wants barn owls anymore." said the man behind the counter. "I'll drop the price for you, young lady. But don't tell anyone!" he winked and exchanged her change.

"Thank you, sir!" Lily said taking the cage with a big smile. "Thank you very much!"

She walked out of the shop with a bigger smug grin on her face. Now she would no longer result in talking to Potter alone because he sent her more owls than Drea or Mary. Now she could send THEM owls in her boredom, instead of waiting for someone to talk to her.

Yes, no more forced conversation with James.

Oh Merlin…James…

"Lily!" shouted a voice. She didn't think he's be here today, not at all.

"Oh, er…hello James. How are you?" Lily asked.

"Oh, I'm just fine. But never mind me. How are you?" He had flashed her a big smile with running his hand through his hair.

"Fine…just, fine." Lily said through her teeth, she was faking a smile in hopes to shoo him away. Of course, it would not work.

"Who is this, Lily?" asked her mother looking the boy up and down. Her father was scanning him also, but with a bit less enthusiastic look than her mother's.

"Oh, excuse me, madam. I'm James Potter. Lily and I are in the same year and house at Hogwarts." he said holding out his hand.

"Lily, you never mentioned mister Potter before," her mother said taking his hand with a smile.

"For good reason, honestly." Lily muttered.

"Yes, never heard much of you at all, in fact." her father finally said.

"Oh, that's a shame Lily. I'm surprised that you never mentioned me. We do hang out rather a lot." James said looking into Lily's eyes. He was a lot taller than her she noticed.

"We never really spent much time together, James. Just the times you constantly ask me out."

James and (surprisingly) her parents laughed.

"I didn't know you had a gentlemen caller, Lily!" her mother teased.

Her face was slowly turning red. Oh dear GOD, why?

"I wouldn't say that. But I must be off. Much to do. See you September first, Lily, I hope?" James said with a hopeful smile.

"I would think so. We do seem to have to ride the same train. And eat at the same table. Plus go to all the same classes. I doubt we'll see less of each other no matter what we do exactly." Lily said, her face loosing the red in her cheeks. But her temper was rising.

"Well, goodbye for now then, Lily." he waved and walked off into the crowd.

"Lily, he was such a nice boy. And very handsome. Why on earth turn down such a boy?" her mother said looking off where James had disappeared.

"You don't understand the half of it, mum." Lily hissed.

Her father still remained silent as they walked past the brick wall into the Leaky Cauldron and back to home.

But his silence didn't scare Lily, it petrified her. Her father usually only remained quiet when he was thinking. And what he could be thinking, only made her more nervous and frightened.

**.:~*~:.**

Lily was walking around the park when she saw him.

He was sitting in her favorite swing kicking the dirt. He looked so pathetic. She turned to leave hoping he wouldn't see her.

"Lily?"

Damn.

"What?" she hissed turning her head to look at him.

"I was hoping I would see you before school…" he whispered, but she could still hear his voice.

"Yeah? So?"

He got out of the swing and took a step to her.

"Can we talk? Please?" he asked.

"About what?"

"Everything."

Oh Merlin did he sound pathetic.

"You'll be wasting breath and my time, Snape. What have you got to tell me?"

"That I'm miserable without you. That I'm horribly sorry. I can't eat or sleep. I can't stop thinking about you. Lily Evans, you are my everything. I lost everything when I made that God awful mistake. Please hear me out when I say that I am honestly sorry for what I did. Please, Lily. Please." His voice was still weak and tears brimmed his eyes. And if all possible, he did look thinner.

"I think you said enough Snape. We're through here." and she walked off.

But that didn't stop the tears in her eyes from over flowing.

Or his.

**.:~*~:.**

**Oh boy, is this story taking a while! I'm not getting enough reviews for this story, so I'm starting to wonder who is actually still reading this? I want to go ahead and finish it soon so I can write a bit more fanfiction and maybe a new Severus/Lily one. But I need more reviews with opinions!! What do you want next? Should I go all the way to 7****th**** year? I want to know what you think! Just leave a little review by clicking that little button down below! Thank you much!!**


	13. Chapter 13

_J.K Rowling STILL owns all!_

_.:~*~:._

_**Lily was finally on the train back to school. Dragging her truck to the nearest compartment (that was empty), she ran into Mary and Drea that happened to be looking for her. **_

"_**Good, you found a compartment!" Mary said putting her trunk above the seats, as did Drea. Once all settled down they began to talk of their summers and the homework that they did do (or didn't do).**_

"_**I forgot about potions." Drea said slumping in her seat.**_

"_**Don't worry. I'm sure we won't have Slughorn until Friday. That's when the 6th**__** years had his last year." Mary said filing her nails. **_

_**Drea scowled at her friend and sighed. She always forgot at least one homework assignment, it was her curse.**_

_**They talked well into the train ride, but all too soon the topic of boys came up.**_

"_**Did you go over to James's house this summer?" Mary asked giving Lily a sly grin.**_

"_**No, I did not. I would not." her cheeks started to flush. "He saw me at Diagon Alley and introduced himself to my parents! And they liked him! At least, my mum did. Wanted me to date him. How ridiculous is that?"**_

"_**Not very. I'd say follow her adivce, Lily." **_

_**Ugh. It was James again.**_

"_**Please, James. Leave me be for once." Lily groaned slumping in her seat and putting her hands over her eyes.**_

"_**I just came to apologize for upsetting you at Diagon Alley. I really am sorry if I embarrassed you or just plain disrupted any boundary." he looked sincere. Especially since he was alone. No Sirius, Remus, or Peter. Lily peeked out from her fingers and looked him up and down. Putting her hands back in her lap she looked back at him properly. **_

"_**Well, ok then. Thank you for your apology. It is accepted. Now please run along before change my mind."**_

_**James chuckled and crossed his arms, leaning on the compartment door in a smooth manner. **_

"_**All right, Lily. I'll go. But I'll see you around." and with that, he gave her his classic Potter smile and closed the door behind them, leaving the three girls to themselves.**_

"_**You know, he is dreamy." Mary admitted.**_

"_**Hush you, he just wants in my skirts." Lily growled crossing her arms.**_

"_**Doubt that. If that's all he wanted he would have walked off by now. Besides, Mr. Potter is a virgin. And I hear he is planning on waiting for the right girl." Light danced in Mary's eyes as she told this to Lily. Who just gave her a rude finger guesture with a snort of disgust.**_

"_**How chivalrous of him." Lily said with bitter sarcasm.**_

"_**Now, now, Lily. Stop judging the poor boy. He obviously wants to make a good impression on you." Drea said adding to the sarcastic air.**_

_**Lily just rolled her eyes and looked out the window. "He should have started acting like a real gentlemen years ago, then." was all she said as she let the other girls continue their boy talk.**_

_**After a few more moments, Remus Lupin knocked on the compartment door.**_

"_**Yes?" Lily said looking at the boy. She liked Remus, he was quiet and sweet.**_

"_**Lily, we need to do our rounds on the train." He reminded her pointing out to the compartment.**_

"_**Oh! Yes, right. I'm coming." Lily got up and followed Remus out into the corridor. **_

"_**Have a nice summer?" he asked as they peeked from compartment to compartment.**_

"_**I suppose so. James kept trying to get me to come over to his place, but he should have known better. I kept turning him down." She said catching the eye of a second year with a bag full of Merlin-only-knows-what, gesturing to him that she had her eye on him.**_

"_**Yeah, he's pretty keen on the idea of you two becoming friends." Remus agreed peeking into a compartment filled with laughing third years.**_

"_**Too bad he's going to have to try a lot harder than that." Lily said matter of factly raising an eyebrow at a group of students gossiping away with a Witch Weekly magazine. Remus looked at her with a confused look on his face. **_

"_**So you could be his friend, then? If he tried harder?"**_

_**Lily looked back at him. "Huh? Oh, well, uhm-yes, I suppose so. If he changed from being a selfish prat into a real gentleman. Doubt that will happen, though. So what's the point? Might as well say never."**_

"_**Never say never, Lily." Remus warned. "You'll be surprised what will happen if you do."**_

"_**As if." Lily muttered.**_

_**After a long, long while of doing their rounds, Remus and Lily said their goodbyes and went to their separate compartments to change into their robes.**_

"_**I do hate little first and second years with those blasted dungbombs!" growled Lily as she slipped on her robes.**_

"_**How many of them did you catch tonight?" Drea asked following suit.**_

"_**Six! Six, Drea! It's getting ridiculous." She buttoned her fastenings in a huff and she remembered throwing out bagfuls of the stupid things.**_

"_**Don't think about that now, we have a sorting to attend." Mary reminded as the train slowed to a stop. **_

"_**Fine. Let's just get this over with." **_

_**While walking out of their compartment, Lily felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning around, she was face to face with Severus Snape.**_

"_**Yes?" she asked in an impatient tone.**_

"_**Is it true?" he asked in a whisper. Lily sighed and put her hands on her hips.**_

"_**Is what true, exactly?"**_

"_**That you are willing to give James Potter a chance."**_

_**Lily blinked. "Now where did you hear that?"**_

"_**From you. I was walking down the corridor when you said it to Remus. I wanted to hear you confirm it.**_

"_**I don't need to confirm anything to you, Snape. But, no. It's not what you think. Now go on. We have a feast to get to." so, with that, she turned on her heel and left Snape behind her.**_

_**It was rather annoying that that had already gotten to the ears of her former best friend. **_

_**Jogging out of the train and to the horseless carriages she found the one Drea and Mary were on. Trying to get there as quick as she could without being left behind another hand grabbed her shoulder.**_

"_**Lily, so it's true? That you would give me a chance?"**_

_**It was James.**_

"_**Potter, please. Not right now. And no, it's not like that. So leave me be and we'll worry about this later. I have a carriage I have to catch." Lily said in an angry tone trying to throw off James's hand form her shoulder. She was getting really annoyed and hungry, never a good combination. **_

"_**Ok, Lily. We'll talk about this later." James teased letting her go. "See you at the feast."**_

_**Sighing with relief Lily ran up to the carriage her friends were on and sat down right when it began to move.**_

"_**Why, isn't it little miss popularity!" Mary said with a smerk.**_

"_**Why did two boys stop you on the way out here?" Drea asked wiggling her eyebrows. **_

"_**It was nothing. Just boys being boys." Lily waved her hand to show them the conversation was done. "I'm starving!"**_

_**.:~*~:.**_

_Finally seated and eating (the sorting was pleasant as always), Lily introduced herself to the nearby first years. They made nice conversations all up until James scooted down a few seats to talk to Lily._

"_Will you ever tell me what you meant then? Remus wasn't even sure." He asked propping himself on the table with his elbow by Lily's plate._

"_No. Not now. And Remus wasn't even suppose to talk about it. I didn't say so directly, but he should have known. Now, if you don't mind, I want to eat my dinner without you hoovering around me. Go join your friends." Lily said moving her plate closer to her._

"_Ok, Lily. If you say so. But I am very curious."_

"_I'm sure. Now please leave." Lily sighed poking at her potatoes._

_**.:~*~:.**_

_Once everyone was fed and watered, they were dismissed to their dormitories. Lily lead the way with Remus for all the new first years. James and Sirius walked by them to tease the little newcomers. Lily ignored them, it was always best to do so. _

_Giving them the password, she helped a few through he portrait hole._

"_Need a hand, Lily?" James asked sincerely._

"_No thank you, James. I can do it on my own." Lily reassured him, climbing in herself. "Now, goodnight to you all." she said to the group pointing out which was the boy's dormitories and which were the girls. "Have pleasant dreams and don't forget to come down for breakfast in the morning." She waved to the little first years who clambered sleepily up to their new beds._

"_Goodnight, Lily. Have sweet dreams and I'll see you in the morning." James said smiling sweetly at her._

"_Of course." she muttered going up the stairs to the girls dormitory. This was going to be a long_ year. 

**.:~*~:.**

**Ah, another chapter! This one took me forever to write! Sorry if there are misspellings and other random things hidden here and there. I just wanted it finished. I have decided to write all the way to their 7****th**** year so this is going to take quite some time. Please leave a lovely review. Hard work deserves some feedback! Thank you very much!!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Ok, so here is chapter 14. Finally. This will have some of Severus's points of views along with Lily's this time. Woo! Now, on with the show! Er…story?**

**J.K Rowling owns all. **

**.:~*~:.**

Severus flopped down on his dormitory bed with a soft thump. Being back at school any other year would have been a blessing. Now, it was curse. Seeing Lily being so hostile towards him tore him about each day last year, now it would be a whole year. Maybe two if things didn't improve. Oh dear Merlin…two years.

That was a slap in the face. He had really messed things up for himself. And it showed it's ugly face every day just to make sure he remembered how much of a failure he was. He would be lucky if he came out of this alive.

The next morning, he got up before everyone else and got dressed quickly. Making his way up the staircase to the Great Hall he ran into very little company. The Slytherin table was pretty empty, but the Ravenclaw table was slowly gaining numbers. But it didn't bother him much, as long as no one talked to him.

Avery and Mulciber came into breakfast within the next half hour and sat on either side of the pale Slytherin boy. Each exchanging looks behind his back, Avery thumped him on his shoulder.

"Snape, you alright? We know you've been up here for a while and we can see you haven't touched any food. That Gryffindor slag still under your skin?" asked Avery.

Severus turned his head to the boy and gave him a cold stare.

"I rather not talk about Lily in that manner, Avery. And you shouldn't either if you know what's best for you." he hissed gripping his fork tightly in his fist.

"Oi, no need for that!" Avery said holding up his hands in defense. Severus still held the fork tightly, but turned his attention towards the Gryffindor table that was gaining students quickly as they chatted away happily. He saw Lily with the girls from her dorm, side by side with Mary and Drea and a few other perky sixth year girls. Potter and his gang sat a few seats away talking animatedly. How Potter looked absolutely big headed even in the early morning was beyond him. Everyone should be groggy and drinking hot tea, but oh no. Potter had to defy the natural law of humans and be a morning person. And people thought he, Severus, was a freak.

Slughorn came around the table passing out schedules to all of the Slytherin students. Some gleeful and some rather upset when they scanned their day by day routine.

When Severus took a glance at his, he wasn't too upset. Except the fact that Potions was still with the Gryffindors. And no doubt that Lily would be in that class with him. And it was today. Just great. Start off the year with misery. And it was a double potions class since he didn't seem to have potions at all for the rest of the week. Just wonderfully perfect..

At least he had Charms first with some Ravenclaws then a break. Then that blasted double potions with Lily.

But maybe that would be the perfect time for him to make up with her! Yes, that was it. It was meant to be! He could warm back up to her and show her that he was no longer that weak jerk that she knew last year. He was a strong (mentally speaking counts, right?) and brave. And brilliant! Oh yes, Lily would be highly impressed with him once he wins her back with his knowledge. He felt perfectly smug about that idea. Yes, he would look quite stunning against Potter, then. And that's all he needed.

**.:~*~:.**

Lily looked at her schedule and frowned slightly. Double potions with Severus this year, at least it was only once a week she would be forced to have a class with him. But she had Defense right after breakfast with the Hufflepuffs in a moment, and that shouldn't be too bad. At least the smart Hufflepuff boys would be in there. And there were plenty good looking ones, too. Nice eye candy after she did her work and studies. At least, that's how Drea always put it. She had a soft spot for those Hufflepuff boys.

She tucked her schedule into her bag and finished off her scone before dashing off to class. But she felt eyes on her. Looking up she saw James Potter sitting in front of her with a dashing grin.

"Can I help you, Potter?" Lily asked cleaning her hands on a napkin. James frowned.

"Aw, Lily. I thought we were on first name terms now. Why call me Potter?" she snorted and slightly grinned back at him.

"I will call you Potter when you aggrivate me. As of now, I caught you staring at me while I was eating. Very rude of you. But, what do you need _James_?" Lily asked tracing condensation off of her pumpkin juice glass.

"Glad you asked, Lily. I would love to escort you to class. That is, if you don't mind." James asked flashing one of his devilishly good looking grins. Lily sighed and folded her arms in front of her.

"I appreciate the gesture, James. I really do. But I will have to politely decline your offer. You see, as chivalrous as that is, I'm afraid you will have to earn the right to walk me to class. It isn't simply given. But I will take it to heart that offered. Very nice of you." Lily flashed an equally sweet and innocent smile back at the boy and got up, ready to take her leave.

"Have it your way, Lily. But we are going to the same class. In fact, I think all of our classes are the same this year. So, I will still be going in the same direction as you to class. Defense isn't it? Well, I will respect your wish and not exactly walk you to class. But if you change your mind, you do have all year. See you in class, Lily." seeing the shock on Lily's face, he smiled sweetly, gave a small salute, and was off with his gang of Marauders.

Damn that boy. Luck was on his side this year, and if it kept up that way, Lily was going to have no say on his now gentleman-like advances.

What an interesting year this was going to be.

**.:~*~:.**

**I know this isn't much, but I wanted to go ahead and update while I had a moment to myself. I have class EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK (including Saturdays, but not Sundays) and I work almost as much. So, with my free time, I catch up on school work and personal affairs. But I am doing my best by plotting and thinking up what comes next in each story of mine every day. So, let's hope I find more time like this soon enough! **

**Please review! I do love reviews! And due to a request I got today, I added more Severus (snevans78). Hope you enjoyed it!**

**(I am also open to suggestions on this fanfic. Feel free to send a message to me to let me know if you have an idea. I love ALL my reviews!!)**

**And for a first time ever, I leave out a plate of oreos and some peanut butter for those that like both, together or separate. =) **

**Enjoy! **


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